Thursday, October 1, 2009

Are you Pathological? Shouldpathology

My grandma died this week. She was a pretty amazing woman. Not amazing in the traditional way you would think. You know what I mean, being a great volunteer or a champion for some cause or some great sacrificial person for others. Not really. Grandma was great in other ways. She loved to play and eat and laugh and have a good time. Grandma loved her stuffed animals and her sweets and loving up the grandkids. Lucky us. No one ever got in trouble with grandma because we were too busy playing games with her, snacking on treats, and getting all those endless hugs and kisses.

Grandma’s house was and not so neat. She wasn’t the pinnacle of fashion either. She didn’t work much and did a whole lot of ordering odd items off the TV. Her biggest strength? Absolutely no shouldpathology. Most of us suffer from that one way or another. “I should skip desert.” “I should clean the bathroom.” “I should visit with that neighbor that I just don’t like.” Not my grandma. She was incredibly and she lived a life without shoulds. In fact, she lived it so well, that I think she had no doubt, no second-guessing whatsoever. She did what she wanted with her life and because of that, she was happy.

I am not into doll collections like my grandma, especially talking dolls and windup toys. Yes, she loved all of that. But there are so many things that I love that my shouldpathology gets in the way of. In case you weren’t aware, pathology means disease. Shouldpathology is like a disease, something that can make us sick. No wonder my grandma lived to be 89. She never had the angst so many of us put ourselves through all the time. She lived and filled her life with the things that were important to her. Fantastic. I wonder sometimes if she was born that way, or did she practice her way there? She certainly had it down by the time I was a kid.

It kind of makes you think, you know? Of course there are things we need to do, but those are different from shoulds right? Many of us practice “shoulds” so much; they become our own pathology, our own disease. Instead of living freely and happily with our choices, we chain ourselves. Yuck.

I think my grandma had the right idea. Think of our shoulds as a shouldpathology and maybe we can train ourselves as I suspect she did, to live our lives as we were meant to. Living our and our and freeing ourselves from the chains of the unnecessary.

Have a wonderful week and remember to make the moment happen.

Get my book, 365 Days to here.


  1. Oh my God, this is me. Thanks for a great reminder, Maria


  2. My mom was a free spirit like that. She died young but taught me so much. Wish I could be that free.

  3. I try and say no to one "should" every day. Helps me a lot.


  4. Thanks for the feedback! I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. Love the idea of turning down one "should" a day.

    Thanks again!


  5. Thanks for sharing Maria! We need those reminders sometimes. My condolences to you and your family.


  6. Thanks for all your kind words and support!


  7. ooooh Maria, I am sorry. We should all be inspired by anyone who reminds us to be a free spirit.