Are you Pathological? Shouldpathology

My grandma died this week. She was a pretty amazing woman. Not amazing in the traditional way you would think. You know what I mean, being a great volunteer or a champion for some cause or some great sacrificial person for others. Not really. Grandma was great in other ways. She loved to play and eat and laugh and have a good time. Grandma loved her stuffed animals and her sweets and loving up the grandkids. Lucky us. No one ever got in trouble with grandma because we were too busy playing games with her, snacking on treats, and getting all those endless hugs and kisses.

Grandma’s house was cluttered and not so neat. She wasn’t the pinnacle of fashion either. She didn’t work much and did a whole lot of ordering odd items off the TV. Her biggest strength? Absolutely no shouldpathology. Most of us suffer from that one way or another. “I should skip desert.” “I should clean the bathroom.” “I should visit with that neighbor that I just don’t like.” Not my grandma. She was incredibly happy and she lived a life without shoulds. In fact, she lived it so well, that I think she had no doubt, no second-guessing whatsoever. She did what she wanted with her life and because of that, she was happy.

I am not into doll collections like my grandma, especially talking dolls and windup toys. Yes, she loved all of that. But there are so many things that I love that my shouldpathology gets in the way of. In case you weren’t aware, pathology means disease. Shouldpathology is like a disease, something that can make us sick. No wonder my grandma lived to be 89. She never had the angst so many of us put ourselves through all the time. She lived free and filled her life with the things that were important to her. Fantastic. I wonder sometimes if she was born that way, or did she practice her way there? She certainly had it down by the time I was a kid.

It kind of makes you think, you know? Of course there are things we need to do, but those are different from shoulds right? Many of us practice “shoulds” so much; they become our own pathology, our own disease. Instead of living freely and happily with our choices, we chain ourselves. Yuck.

I think my grandma had the right idea. Think of our shoulds as a shouldpathology and maybe we can train ourselves as I suspect she did, to live our lives as we were meant to. Living our passions and our desires and freeing ourselves from the chains of the unnecessary.

Have a wonderful week and remember to make the moment happen.

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