Mentoring Tip for March 08

Organize your Child for Success…..Minutes at a time!

Did you know that organization is linked to academic success? In helping your child with their studies, you have the ability to model organizational strategies with them and pave a path for their additional success. The key here is to deliver organizational tools consistently every time you work together. The changes I am suggesting are simple. It’s that very simplicity that makes them powerful. They are easy to remember and easy to carry out! Most of us learn from modeling. If you can model organizational tools for your child, you will be able to “imprint” these strategies on them and make the tools stick!

1. Prepare the work space. Your child will need a clean, uncluttered surface. Find a place they can use daily away from loud noise and TV. Okay, you can stop laughing….just try and help them find the “best” spot.

2. Prepare your materials. Help them “set up” the study area. They will need their planner out on the desk. They may need to keep most of their books on the floor if they are working at a desk or table with limited space. Other materials include paper, pencils, pens, erasers, calculator, etc. Make sure to keep these supplies in their “study spot” at home. Have a box or or small drawer they can put on the table full of these supplies. It seems silly, but having the supplies ready will save time and help your student’s confidence. Having their “tools” in place will give them a feeling of control.

3. Assignment overview. Look at the planner with your child. If they have assignments they have not written into the book, suggest they write them in quickly. This will help them develop the habit. If you do that with them every week, it won’t be long before they will see your face at school telling them “Write it down!”when the teacher is passing out assignments. My nieces laugh and tell me they cannot get into a car without seeing my face leaning in over the window telling them to “buckle up!” Your words have tremendous power. Say it nice and say it consistent and you will impact!

4. Do the work and check it off as you go. Have your child mark it off in the planner as they go through it. This is teaching them the concept of checking off a “to do list” and no matter what age you are, it always feels good to “check it off.”

5. Put it away. Get your child to toss papers they don’t need and use whatever pockets they have in their backpack to organize their supplies and homework.

6. Encourage. Encourage. Encourage. Organization takes time, concentration and consistency. If you are consistent, kind and encouraging, you will help your child develop tools that will enhance their academic success and beyond.....all in only minutes a day!

Please feel free to go to http://tutormentorconnection.org or to http://tutormentorconnection.ning.com/ to discuss this article.

Maria Murphy writes a monthly Tutor/Mentor Coaching Tip for Tutor/Mentor Connection of Chicago and has been a presenter for Cabrini Connection’s Tutor/Mentor Conference. This column is distributed to mentoring organizations throughout N/E Florida by Kessler Mentoring Connection at mentoringconnection.org. Maria is a speaker, consultant and writer.

The Power of Active Listening

February Mentor Tip of the Month

The Power of Active Listening

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Robert McCloskey

I’m sorry…what was that quote? It’s pretty funny actually. Not to mention, quite telling. Listening is tough business. I mean REALLY listening. It’s something we all look for, but often are challenged to be able to give to others. When I practiced as a therapist, people would ask me all the time, “How do you remember that about me?” Well, every therapist knows, it’s not as magical as it appears. It is simply “active” listening. That means you are concentrating your attention completely on the other person, not the dry cleaning or your next meeting or “what I want to say back.”

Active listening is not too hard, it just takes practice. Whether you are working with your student, helping your child, speaking with your spouse or in a meeting at work, this is an incredible tool. Concentrate on what the other person is telling you. If you find yourself getting distracted, just pull yourself back into the conversation. A great tool for working your “active listening” muscle is the “recap.” All you do is “recap” what the other person just told you, in your own words.

Example: "I am sick of math. It’s stupid." You respond, "You are so tired of math right now."

Example: " This project is all wrong. The team is going to blow this." You respond, "You are really worried about the future of this project."

This sounds like elementary communication, but I can tell you, there is nothing in this world that feels quite the same as someone looking you in the eye and “getting you.” That is powerful.

Active listening will enhance your relationships, help you understand others better and, in turn, help you get more of your own communication needs met.

Good luck and have fun practicing active listening and recapping.

Maria Murphy writes a monthly Tutor/Mentor Coaching Tip for Tutor/Mentor Connection of Chicago and has been a presenter for Cabrini Connection's Tutor/Mentor Conference.

Please feel free to go to http://tutormentorconnection.org or to http://tutormentorconnection.ning.com/ to discuss this article. This article is distributed throughout NE Florida mentoring organizations via Kessler Mentoring Connection.

If you are interested in receiving this monthly column for your non-profit organization, contact Maria Murphy on the contact page of her website.